Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
