"it" just moved
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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