he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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