The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
