Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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