well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
