He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
