i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
