so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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