S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
