So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize