Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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