Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
You left your underwear on the fireplace
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
