so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
