We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
