Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
