So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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