I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
