he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
