I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
