he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
