he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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