So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize