i think i have herpe
just one?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
