id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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