tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Randomize
