i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
im holly from the hills drunk
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
