just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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