I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
