Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I lost the right to judge tonight
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
