We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
