You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Terrible idea I love it
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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