so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
