So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
