You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
