He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
