I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
