we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
