So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
