explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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