do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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