he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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