do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
So. Much. Porn.
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