Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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