I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
