There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
