Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
