My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize