your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize