Can i not drive my cunt home
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
