I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
