I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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