She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
