thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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