There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
