her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
