bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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