I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
