I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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