yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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